Pt 2 Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.

Having had always lived a motto, expect the worst and hope for the best..there came a point in my life about four months ago, when I let go of that principle. 

I should had never let my guard down then. 
A string of misery , continuously attacked me.

Having gone through so much since a simple age of twelve till now, adversity thought me to be strong and brave to face any or whatsoever challenge or obstruction that came by.

Things like that simply mould a little child in being headstrong. Headstrong is good they say, it gets us far and makes a brighter world for the people around us when it is all out of pure intention. 

Being headstrong with purpose, leads to determination. With a career being built, to the missions in my life.

Being determined though, could be catastrophic in some relationships.

I will not deny, I have done terrible things at times. But times a thousand of that, I have done many good things too. 

But the question is, will the efforts and courage , to do what is right, to stand up for one self, lead to good? What happens when the purpose in the end was out of good will, for oneself, and well being of the persons loved around, was taken wrongly?

These good intentions and acts of integrity can be easily broken, when the people whom we try to protect, retaliate against us .

And every purpose and direction intended, seem to dissolve away. There is no base to support on! Everything gets confusing. Life just SINKS into a deep  wide hole, and climbing out is almost impossible.


Right now,  thy strength isn't there yet. 

Five major incidents, bad ones have struck within two months.... 3 accidental, 1 , the time came, 1----the worst of all.... UNIMAGINABLY UNEXPLAINABLE!

I look up to the skies and ask again, something often asked many years ago, WHY ME? IS THIS ANOTHER ROUND OF TESTS, TRIALS AND TURBULATIONS FOR ME?

I look in the direction of the heavens above us, for a purpose to all this.
and I hope to gain the courage to face anything else ahead of me.

And I pray, my efforts all this while, were not to lose my purpose and direction. 

~aletha kavindra~