Monday, 4 May 2009

Not Knowing Me

This is a story of a girl who enjoys getting herself into challenges, boggle her mind and impart risks as her middle name.
It has been five years since she first felt this way.
And three years since it had made her little heart ache.

In continuation to my previous blog(the undone one), I have found this very meaningful poem by an anonymous person.
It makes a lot of sense, and its to those who think they actually know the meaning of it, well, darn, think again!

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams,
before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the
greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing,
have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves;
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

From you I have learned; i have known how painful failure can really be.At least in the end of the day, I can always tell myself that I somewhat tried to make it better. Some what tried to make it happen, despite for the number of weeks that I felt as if the world was about to come to an end. Or the fact that before this, there was once I thought I had every splendour at the tips of my fingers. You made me realise, something that I had for a long time forgotten, that you can't always get what you want. And that makes you appreciate for all the wonderful things in life.

I spilled my deepest thoughts to you. Shared my philosophies in life , presented my best ... but I realised I actually stopped trying to impress you anymore. I've been absolutely myself around you. Perhaps , we remain best of pals for now.

Live to the utmost best for all the challenges we are to face. I'll be here for you, always,as I know you to will be around to catch me if I fall. This relationship we have, has its own uniqueness that only you and I will ever understand.
Thank you for being there for me .

No, it doesn't end here, I have one tiny doubt that haunts me in my sleep.It is that if you really need me ? And do you actually know the face of this girl you call your best friend.... We have our own secrets, the fewest that we have not shared. And the stories you have told me , the pain you have shared with me, and the encouragement I have always tried my best to give to you.... Do you not sense that most of the time, I feel like you do not really appreciate it....and there are times, when a cloud of emotion hits me, revealing that perhaps you do not really know me.

I take risks, my dearest friend, I have always...
Taken the roughest roads and made the most difficult choices.
Climbed many mountains and swam across seas.
Most of the time, they were my choices...solely mine,
and I did very frequently choose the path that was less travelled. But for you to have said those words the other day, I thought to myself , "Does he really understand me the best?".... I missed that old friend I had in you, who gave it all, didn't mind its consequences and actually had a great time together.

Once again, I make a choice,instead of the one that many people would make to look for another. I choose to take the one that was grassy and wanted wear.

Therefore, im really free.
Irony is all part of life.

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